So it's been awhile, as usual.  However, this time, I haven't written because I have been so very busy.

This previous weekend we were in Minnesota visiting family and friends; Angela was out of Iraq on R&R, and was kind enough to buy plane tickets for us so we could go see her.  The flight out did not go according to plan, as a large thunderstorm came through and delayed our flight by 2 hours.  We made it, though!  We finally got home around 1:45 am on Friday morning. 

I got to spend Friday morning enjoying coffee and bagels with Angela at the Blue Moon Cafe, where we caught up and had one of our "deep conversations" that we always seem to have when we're together.  Matt's parents came up from Missouri for a day and a half, so on Friday we all went to the Mall of America and Ikea before going to dinner with Mom & Dad at Old Chicago.  Dad, who finished his tenth World Beer Tour and is now the proud owner of a pewter beer stein, has just started working at a different office in the Twin Cities.  I'm glad, because I think it means he doesn't have to get up at 3:00 am anymore!  After a quick trip to Blue Max ("Oh, we gotta go to the liquor store!") we headed home, and then went up to The Jimmy for some Toasted Almonds.  There was live music that night, a guitar duo, and they performed Dad's favorite Buffett song, "A Pirate Looks at Forty."  It was a nice, relaxing evening.

Saturday Mom threw a barbeque, as usual (my parents have the best barbeques!), and we enjoyed burgers and beers with Matt's parents, Jenna, and Maggie.  Matt's parents had to take off so his dad could get back in time for work on Sunday, so we spent the latter part of the afternoon running errands, shopping, and getting ready for our Valleyfair trip on Sunday.

Valleyfair was a ton of fun; I hadn't been there for several years, and going with my girlfriends was a day I definitely needed.  Matt stayed home, as he's not really a fan of amusement parks, so I got to spend all day with Jenna, Maggie, and Angela.  I didn't even get sunburnt, which was AWESOME.  Usually I come out of that place looking like a tomato.  Afterward, I met up with Mom, Dad, and Matt at the used book store in Apple Valley before heading to Timber Lodge for dinner.  I could hardly eat, of course, after having ridden rollercoasters all day and eating junky Fair food (like fried cheese on a stick and Ben & Jerry's milkshakes), but dinner there is always so tasty, so I brought a good portion of it home.  Then, there was the visit with Tim, Val, Catherine, and Ethan into the evening.  It is always so nice to see them, since I get to so rarely.

Monday we spent the majority of the day sitting around doing as little as possible before heading to the airport in the early afternoon to return to Denver.  We missed our Peanut a lot, and we were happy to get home to see her.  Taylor was kind enough to come house/dogsit for us over the weekend, so Mirabelle had a good time with her.  We'd missed Dan's 30th birthday (that was on Friday) so we went over to Dan and Joe's for a belated celebration with beer and cupcakes.

Now, as usual, I'm dealing with pretty severe homesickness.  It usually takes me a few days to readjust after a trip home.  I come back to Denver, and as happy as I am here, I miss my parents and my girlfriends so much that I just can't shake it. 

I keep going back and forth about the idea of moving back to MN.  I'm not going to lie, I'd love to be so close to my parents (who I've become really close with and I miss more now than I did when I was in college) and my girlfriends, but at the same time I love Denver.  I love the weather, I love the people here that I do know, I'm happy that I have some good friends here, too.  I love that it is a "Big Little City," I love that we have so many breweries, that we are so close to the mountains, it's just so beautiful here... It's so hard to weigh the good versus the bad.  I don't particularly like my job here in Denver, but would I find something better in the Twin Cities? 

There's the other rub: the job.  The "career."  Maybe it's my quarter-life crisis, but I'm trying to figure out what I'm doing with my life.  What I'm doing now, I can't consider it a career.  It's not something I want to do for the rest of my life.  To be honest, I'm not sure what I want to do for a career.  I guess I'm not the type of person that can just do a job for the sake of it or have a job just for the paycheck; I've got to enjoy what I'm doing, I've got to do something that makes me feel like I'm making a difference.  The dream was always to have a job in a theater, doing SOMETHING, anything, to be involved in the business or production part of it.  Secondary?  Roasting coffee for a living, blending and making something delicious (perhaps leading to our own shop someday).  Third?  Maybe an event planner at a hotel, or even an independent company, helping to plan parties and weddings and meetings.  Would any of these careers be more easily sought in the Twin Cities?  Maybe the theater career, but there you have to find a break to get into it just like everywhere else.  Roasting can be done anywhere, but it seems like something little advertised and even less in-demand.  Event planning I'd probably be better getting into here, since I already have the contacts through my current job.

The other issue is the flux in my current job.  So far over the last year and 3 months I've gone from doing one job to doing 4 (rentals, counter sales, some custom gobos, receptionist).  We've lost many employees in the fight to "do more with less people" and though it's been stressful it's a job, and I can't justify complaining about it when there are a ton of people who are unemployed.  But rumors swirl regarding the employment of at least three of my co-workers, and I've got to wonder what that means for me.  We've been talking about transferring me to a different department, but I know I can't really trust anything until it actually happens. And if that transition does happen, would I really enjoy it?  Would something different here make me happier?  Or would it be just another job?  It's not that I'm unhappy with my job... I just have to wonder if I could do something that really fulfills me.

But I digress a bit.  I am making some headway into a theater job: as I mentioned, Matt and I are working on a play downtown called "A Hint of Winter," which opens next Thursday night and runs for 4 weeks.  The process has gone really well, and while I don't typically ASM shows it's been nice just to get back into the swing.  I'll admit, though, it'll be nice when the show is over, because I'll have free evenings again.  It gets tiring getting up at 7:45, working for 8 hours, going straight to rehearsal for 3 hours, getting home around 9:45 pm, and then going to bed just to get up and do the whole thing again the next day.  But it's nice to be involved in "the process" again, and the little financial cushion that we've gotten from it has been even nicer.  I'm hoping that I can do a few more shows, maybe two or three times a year.  That'd be a really good way to save some money and to meet some people in the community here.

Also, Matt's going back to school, which will be very strange but hopefully will open a few things up for him, for us, here in Denver.  He's going to be certified as a solar energy technician, and may pursue a more specialized degree after that.  I think that, if the "green collar jobs" thing really takes off like everyone says it will, he shouldn't have trouble finding something once he has the degree.  Hopefully the economy will have rebounded by then as well. 

It's weird to me to be so concerned about things like the economy.  That sounds bad, but I really didn't think about the national economy until I got out on my own.  We were never wealthy growing up, and I knew that things were tight and that we couldn't just frivolously spend whatever we wanted, but now that I'm on my own I'm trying to pay more attention and learn more about it.  I just don't understand a lot of financial ANYTHING, so it's been a bit tricky to me.  Speaking of, I need to set up my 401K this weekend... so weird.  I guess it's all a part of growing up, of becoming an adult, and I just don't want to face that yet.  Funny how we spend our childhood looking forward to getting out of our parents' houses and out on our own, but as soon as we do we realize it's a crock of shit and want to go back to the safety and comfort of our homes. 

"I don't want to grow up, I'm a Toys R Us kid..."

Now I'm hungry and it is time for a snack. 

Hopefully it won't be over a month before the next update!!

I'm officially 25.  It doesn't really feel any different, but seeing the number jump up makes me feel a little odd. 

I had a pretty exciting and memorable birthday weekend, in both good and bad instances.  The weekend started with a trip to the airport to pickup Maggie and Laura, who decided to visit Denver for Memorial Weekend/my birthday.  Thursday night we dined on Indian food, and then introduced the girls to Dan & Joe by going out to Bull and Bush Brewery for a few pints.  Maggie kicked Joe's ass at a chugging contest, which was pretty entertaining.  We mostly spent our evening catching up with each others' lives, discussing changes in jobs, school, relationships... it was really nice to have my close girlfriends with me.

Friday I unfortunately had to work (it was a busy Friday considering the holiday weekend), but Maggie and Laura entertained themselves downtown and eventually ended up at the Denver Aquarium, where I met up with them after work for a Happy Hour beer and some sliders.  We sat in the Dive Lounge and chatted more.  From there we headed to the Cherry Cricket, and after waiting almost an hour for our table we had our delicious burgers and beers and onion rings.  Laura found $20 lying on the sidewalk outside the restaurant, which we put toward our bill, and all was well in the world.

Saturday was my first of four days off (which was AMAZING), and I spent it with the girls.  We made our way north to the Butterfly Pavilion (which was, sadly, smaller than I expected it would be) and spent some time taking photos and walking around in the very humid air.  From there we went on an adventure, driving down to Whole Foods for some local wine/beer and a birthday cake (and cannolis!).  We wanted then to get some locally and fresh-roasted coffee, but the shop was closed, so we braved the downpour (it rained ALL weekend while the girls were here; it was sunny and 70 degrees today, go figure) and headed back to Sunflower Market for cherries and more snacks, then headed off to Stella's for our afternoon coffee fix.

Over the course of the day on Saturday I got calls and texts regarding my birthday dinner that night, downtown at the Breckenridge Ballpark Brewery.  I'd reserved a table for 15, and had invited about 15 friends and their significant others.  I'd known that several couldn't make it: Taylor's parents were in town, Anna was in Minnesota with her family, and Carl's wedding anniversary was that evening.  However, as the dinner got closer and closer I got messages from people letting me know that they couldn't make it or that they'd be late.  It was bumming me out; my birthdays have never been great, but I was hoping that this one would be a fun dinner with close friends, good food, and good beer.  I finally let my emotions get to me when I found out that Dan and Joe were not coming, as Dan was working and Joe wouldn't have time to take the train downtown after work.  I called the restaurant and canceled our table for 15, making it a table for 6, of which there were four of us who went: myself, Maggie, Laura, and Matt.  As we finished dinner, I got texts from Megan saying that she and Jeff had made it to Wynkoop Brewery and were watching the end of the Nuggets basketball game, and that we could all go join them after dinner, if we wanted.  So, we walked down to Wynkoop, had a beer with Megan and Jeff, watched the Nuggets lose, and went home.

As over-emotional as it sounds, the entire evening just ruined my birthday for me, and made me change my perspective on life in Denver.  I knew that having my girlfriends from MN with me would make me homesick, but the one thing keeping me sane and happy the last few months has been my Denver friends.  If I had a bad day at work, I took comfort in the fact that I could call Anna or Taylor to bitch about it.  If we wanted to celebrate for any reason, we could call up Dan and Joe and go have a beer.  If I needed to go shopping, Megan was there with me.  It seemed like, whenever thoughts of leaving Denver would creep into my head, I just had to think about my friends and how much they meant to me, and those thoughts would go away.  Now I'm left wondering if they are as good of friends as I thought.  Then I wonder if I'm being overly needy and immature.  Then I just feel bad, because I'm sure all those people had good reason for missing my party: that they didn't just forget, or decide they wanted to stay in, or not want to spend any money, or not want to venture all the way downtown.  But all in all it made me wonder: If we decided to move away from Denver, would our friends be upset?  Or would they just shrug and say "Oh well"?  Would we even be missed?

Yeah, that didn't sound PMS-y at all...

We ate delicious Triple Eruption Chocolate cake that evening, and we successfully hooked Maggie on BSG, so after dinner/beers the night got a bit more low-key. 

Sunday we'd planned to enjoy a Hangover Brunch at Sputnik's, but soon realized that the idea of more fried food and more alcohol made us all cringe.  We decided to try meeting up with Dan and Joe at the coffeeshop we'd tried the day before, but WTF they were closed on Sunday mornings... so Dan and Joe suggested a place called Wash Perks, which had decent coffee and bagels.  We sat outside (it hadn't started raining yet that day, and it was sunny and warm), chatting and bullshitting.  Sadly we had to bring Laura back to the airport, as she had to work on Monday... then, there was a giant thunderstorm which came rolling over the mountains.  Laura kept us updated from the airport, and after being delayed because of tornado warnings and lighting, Laura finally headed back to Minnesota. 

Maggie and I left the airport and had a quick slice at Anthony's Pizza, then went to the mall to do some shopping.  I spent my birthday gift card from Matt at Victoria's Secret, then we ventured to Eddie Bauer, which I admit I'd never been in and decided that I love the place.  It's expensive, but their clothes are nice without being too trendy.  I found three new shirts for under $50 total (thanks to my parents for some money to buy said shirts with) and know that I will be back soon to get some more.  I also bought Matt some crazy expensive lavender tea at Teavana, hoping it'll help him sleep better at night.  We met up with Matt at 5:00 after his shift at Apple and went to Mad Greens for dinner.  That night I'd made secondary arrangements for a second birthday party, for anyone who couldn't make the first (which, as I mentioned, was almost everyone I'd invited), at Old Chicago.  Matt, Maggie, and I joined Dan, Joe, Katie, and Kat for a few rounds of beer and some appetizers, but headed home afterward instead of going out for the night.

Monday Maggie and I braved the rain again and headed downtown to an Arts Fair.  We perused local artists' booths and saw lots of art that we'd never be able to afford, but also picked up some jewelry that we liked.  We then decided to pamper ourselves with a trip to a nail salon... which was so entertaining... we walked in to see this older Vietnamese lady and her husband (she spoke broken English, and I don't think her husband spoke any at all).  She was a riot and chatted most of the time we were there.  She even painted intricate flowers with little jewels on each of my big toes and on my ring fingers (not really my bag, but it was just so funny!).  As Maggie's nails dried we got to hear about the trials and tribulations of being a prosti-tot (several, probably 12-14 years old, came in and complained about their teenage boys, and played on their very expensive cell phones, much nicer than mine), and finally left feeling pampered.  We picked up Matt after his work shift was over and headed to Spicy Thai for some sushi and Chinese food, and when we were full we once again went home for a quiet evening.  We were supposed to see Monday Night Raw at the Pepsi Center that night, but because of the stupid Nuggets the event was canceled.  Stan Kroenke pissed off the WWE, and now they won't be back at the Pepsi Center - ever - and instead will be going to the Denver Coliseum.  The event was rescheduled for August 7, so we'll we waiting for tickets to go on-sale for that... stupid basketball.

Tuesday was Maggie's last day here, and luckily (or unluckily?) Matt was "fired" a day early from Wolf so he had the day off.  We got up kind of early and took our cameras to the Botanic Gardens.  There were so many kids there on field trips that it was bordering between amusing and angering, and on several occasions I fought an urge to trip a child...  I got some good shots with Matt's little point-and-shoot, you can see them on Facebook.  Matt got to play with his new camera and got some beautiful pictures as well.  When we'd had our fill of schoolchildren, we went to the Nature and Science Museum to walk around.  We all started to feel old, as by the end of the day we were all sore from the waist down.  Maggie and I then went to Sunflower Market, bought some groceries, and had a feast of salsa, guacamole, and fajitas.  It was fantastic.

Then, this morning, I got up at 4:30 and drove Maggie to the airport.  It was very, very sad...

Tonight, Matt and I had a date night and enjoyed some pizza and beer at Old Chicago thanks to the birthday gift card I got from work.  We also got a free round of New Belgium Sunshine Wheat, courtesy of the New Belgium beer rep. visiting our Old Chicago tonight.  The whole event made me wonder if my sophisticated coffee palate could be transferred to a sophisticated beer palate... one will have to wait and see.

For now, I've got a very (VERY) happy buzz and am ready for bed.  G'night!

I have a laundry list of things I should be doing on this Saturday night, but instead I'm sitting on my butt watching an ANTM marathon. I find that, on Saturdays, I just can't muster the energy to do much else.

I'm feeling a bit down in the dumps today, this week, this month... I guess it's just the weight of adulthood hitting me. The other day my co-workers were talking about how bubbly I am, how cheerful I am all the time, and I jokingly said "Well, it's all a lie, because the older I get the more depressed and upset I get at growing up." And I realized that it's true, a bit, and that made me really sad. My life is not what I want it to be, I'm not doing what I've wanted to do with my life, and while I've got big plans for my future I just don't know how to make it happen. I've become so concerned with the day-to-day, with making sure we make enough money to pay our bills and go out every once in a while, that I can't even consider falling out of the routine. But the routine makes me so upset, because six days a week I get up and go to work, go home, have dinner, go to sleep, and get up and do it all again. I'm realizing that I'm not cut out for that type of life, for the daily routine. All I want right now, as I go to work each day and sit at my desk and count down the minutes till I go home, is to find my niche in something I absolutely love. Life is too damn short to do something you're not passionate about. I don't want to raise kids someday teaching them that it's okay to do something you dislike just because it pays the bills.

Unfortunately, with the economy the way it is, a career change is not even remotely possible... so I'll stick to my six-days-a-week deal, hoping that things start happening. Matt's started working part-time at Wolf again, which is great. I'm so thankful that Joe was able to get Matt back in, because the extra money will help out so much (we hopefully won't be dipping into savings to pay bills like we have been the last few months). The most exciting thing is that Matt and I will be doing a professional theatre gig this summer (for me, it'll be my first professional job ever). I'm going to be an assistant stage manager and Matt will be a deckhand; it's a six-week job, a two-person show which, from what I hear, will be an easy show. I hope it opens up opportunities for me. I think I'd be completely happy working part-time at the coffeeshop if I could work part-time in a theater as well. I just wish I could make a decent living doing something I love. Matt keeps telling me that he doesn't need to "do theater" to be happy, but I think I do. I mean, I've always known that (hello, that's the reason why I got a BA in Theatre) and I just need to figure out a way to make it happen before I become old and bitter about life.

I've also decided (very recently, actually) that I need to start going back to the gym. Matt and I have been trying to eat better lately, but because of the aforementioned routine, it's been very difficult to work up the energy to go work out. It finally hit me earlier this week when I was referred to as "plump." Yeah, I'm sure it wasn't meant to be malicious, but it really hurt. I've been feeling particularly self-conscious about everything the last few months, and that was just the cherry on top of the giant hot fudge sundae with whipped cream and chopped nuts and butterscotch.

We're getting settled into our new apartment/condo. Everything is unpacked (well, except a few boxes of knick-knacks) but we have yet to hang any pictures or art on the walls. If you haven't seen them yet, we have some pictures on Facebook. I can't wait till we get everything set up and just the way we want it, but it makes me want and wish for a house. I suppose that'll be the next big goal... I want to start putting some money away bit by bit (you know, if there is any to put away) and hopefully won't need to spend it on other things. I would love to take the money we're getting from our theatre gig this summer and buy a new computer or pay off a chunk of a car/student loans, but I think it'll go into a "house fund." I also think that, maybe starting very soon, anytime I think about going out to dinner I'll take that $20-$50 and put it into savings. That'll help with the whole losing weight thing, too, yeah? I just really need to start over-budgeting our spending.

I have started reading again, which has been really nice and relaxing. I just finished a very funny book called How I Paid for College: a Novel of Sex, Theft, Friendship, and Musical Theater, and it was great. The book I'm reading now has been a bit more subdued, but I know that it's going to be an amazing love story (you can just tell these types of things). I took a long break from reading after college because I had to read so much that wasn't for fun, so now I've come back to it as a relaxation technique in the evenings before bed. Good good indeed.

I suppose that's all new and exciting here. Matt will be home from work in an hour, and shortly after that I'll be getting to bed, as I work at the Bou at 5:30 tomorrow. Luckily it is a very short shift (I'm off at 10:00) so I'm hoping to come home and go back to bed for a couple hours. Then maybe there will be a trip to the gym, and hopefully I'll get some of the "stuff" around home I need to get done. I used to be able to work six days, spend Saturdays running errands, and spend Sunday afternoons with friends or getting stuff done... now when I'm not working all I want to do is sit around and do nothing. I hope I can shake it soon... or nothing will ever get done around here!!

Sorry if it's been a downer - hopefully the next post will be a bit more upbeat.

Lots has happened.  Lots is happening.  Lots of stuff, lots of thoughts, lots of lots of everything. 

Will be posting soon: work-related ramblings, stories of our Boston adventure (with photos!), a sick sad Mirabelle, loading and unloading boxes and furniture into our new apartment (hopefully ALSO with photos!), and much more random happenstance!

Hopefully will be posting this by... oh, let's say... Friday?

Check back soon!

Today I went to Subway for dinner, and there was a very long line. I came to realize that the register/computer had gone down, and while I was mildly annoyed I knew it was no fault of the workers. I've been in the business, I know what it's like when the computers fail in the middle of a rush. I waited patiently in line. What really drove me crazy was the leather-skinned woman in front of me in line with her insanely needy and obnoxious girl-child. The girl ordered her sandwich thusly (I'm paraphrasing, but it's pretty damn close): "I want a chicken breast sandwich on parmesan bread. No, on the parmesan... THE ITALIAN! I don't want it toasted, just warm. Can I have two slices of bacon on that? Can I have red sauce? No, not that red sauce, the other red sauce. Is there meat in the red sauce? Oh, I don't like meat in my red sauce. I guess it'll be okay though. Can I have cheese? No, the shredded kind. No, the other shredded kind. Will that melt on my sandwich? Oh, can you warm it up again so it is melted?"

HOLY HELL IN A HANDBASKET. If my kid is ever that freaking needy I will knock her head right off her shoulders.

Anyway, I finally got to the front of the line with my two sandwiches. As the gal at the register was manually trying to ring me up, their tech support called and she was able to reset their computer (not in any real timely fashion) and get me out of there. I tipped them a dollar for their stress... because I know how much it sucks to have problems beyond your control and be punished by customers for it.

Then, this evening, the four of us (Matt, Dan, Joe, and I) went to Caribou for some coffee beverages. I had a Java Co flashback: there was a preppy blonde student set up with her laptop one measly coffee drink, and school papers at a six-person table. Just her, no one else. Then, at one point, she got up and asked the gals working to fill her water bottle for her... with ice, of course... Oh, memories!

I'm also so incredibly annoyed by this stupid mother with 14 kids.  I feel so bad for those children, but at the same time wonder if they'd be better off elsewhere.  I think the doctor should have his license revoked.  I think that at least 10, if not 12, if not ALL of those kids should be removed and put up for adoption.  That woman is like a dog or cat collector... it's sick.  And the sickest thing of it all, the thing that REALLY pisses me off more than anything else is that this parasite of a human being vowed she'd take care of these kids on her own, but 1) uses food stamps, 2) is on disability (along with some of her kids, from what I hear?!), and 3) set up an EFFING WEBSITE allowing people to make online donations to her and her family.  Really, REALLY?!  Can I set up a donation website so people can send me money, or do I have to have 14 kids and suck the government for all its worth first?  Maybe she caused this economic crisis... I choose to blame her.

In other news, I'm hoping that tomorrow at work will be smooth and easy (that's what he said), but I have a feeling it won't be.  For some reason this weekend and next weekend are busy considering the economic slump.  I guess I can't complain too much... I just hope that things go off without a hitch (giggity).

Holy mother, what's wrong with me tonight?!  I guess I'm just exhausted.  I can't wait till Saturday.  Yes, it's Valentine's Day, but Matt and I aren't planning to go anywhere because it's a Saturday and we don't want to be surrounded by a bunch of people.  We think we'll make a nice, quiet dinner at home instead.  I'm excited because I get to sleep in... and I hope to sleep FOREVER... I'm aiming for at least 10:00 am.  I'm also hoping to get our taxes done, or at least started, or at least try to do something involving the taxes... I don't really know what we'll do.  We can't afford  the $100/hour charges to have them done for us, and we're nervous about doing it on our own as we got married just a few months ago.  My sister recommended a free tax service I will probably look into... I guess it's that fine line of wanting to make sure we don't get screwed and wanting it all to be done right versus the pain of trying to do it on our own.

And that's all for now.  It's time for pajamas and lounging on the couch.  Last night I was asleep by 11:30... maybe it'll be by 11:00 tonight...!